The Ugly Truth about Love

Many people are familiar with the renowned adage, “love is patient, love is kind”. Yet a large number of persons today are so in love, but extremely impatient and unkind. And as more time goes by, less people seem to give a damn about it. Are you ready for the ugly truth about love?

The ugly truth about Love

Picture this: A woman comes on live television and confesses that she knows her boyfriend loves her; she said he has proven his worth in every possible way, except one. Her guy doesn’t last long in bed; she said she loves him but would like advice on whether or not she should dump him due to his shortcoming.

Complicating matters, her ex is a consideration once more because he used to satisfy her in the bedroom. Everyone in the audience laughs; the “joke” is quite funny. The woman needs to be satisfied; the one minute man can’t keep up with her pace. It’s decided the man needs to get his act together else the woman may very well have a right to return to her ex: a man who can get the job done! This is the ugly truth about love!

When Love isn’t patient or kind

Now consider if the above roles were reversed with slight variance. What if the couple was having a different kind of trouble in the bedroom? The man really wants a child to feel satisfied; he eventually discovers that his woman is unable to conceive no matter how hard they try. Would the majority of people who made fun of the man’s situation still be saying: she needs to get her act together?

Chances are many would expect the man to be more understanding to the woman’s plight; they may say she had no control over it. And if the man didn’t understand, then it would be deemed that he never really loved the woman. She would then be encouraged to walk away; she would be given additional assurance that she would eventually find a real man who would love her.

This happens often due to the perception of gender roles and what is seen as being more valuable or less laughable to others. How many people would take the time to ask: What if the man really loved the woman but truly had no control over his predicament?

Truth: When Love becomes beyond ugly

Somewhere along the way, the definition of true love has become distorted. There are so many different perspectives about what love is that it can indeed be challenging to pinpoint what it really is with unanimous accuracy. But while others continue to debate over what love is it may be simpler to define what it isn’t; love is NOT heartless, inconsiderate, wretched or self-absorbed.

If someone is experiencing a serious or embarrassing problem (either man or woman) someone who loves you would not make fun of it. They would do everything in their power to help you feel better about your situation; they would help you take care of it. If they can’t help solve your problem and you have seriously tried fixing it, they would ultimately make particular sacrifices and still show you that they care about you regardless.

And most certainly, they won’t use you as though you were a tampon that’s only good for being shoved up a hole and then get rid of you the moment you no longer work for them.

Too much Love, not enough commitment

A major problem with relationships today is that there are way too many expectations. Some people are expected to just give, give, give, while others are conditioned to just receive. And from the moment the latter are no longer receiving something in the way they believe they should receive it, their minds begin to stray. And they call this love? If this is the true definition of love then love is nothing but a mere fantasy.

Because if love were real it would be permanent. Someone would never be able to completely love someone else. They would not quickly forget about the person they were in love with yesterday. People would not “fall out of love” the moment someone stops doing something they like or starts doing something they don’t.

It is typically announced at the pinnacle of a wedding, “for better or worse, for richer or poorer”. Perhaps this may be the reason some people actively avoid marriage altogether. They want only the better and richer. They want to fully commit themselves to no one but themselves. All the benefits without making sacrifices and the freedom to use someone as they please? They want that too. And they want the option to easily replace the person they claim they love with the callous justification that things just aren’t working out.

They will become lovers of themselves

It’s true that sometimes the best way to prove you love someone is to set them free but sometimes the biggest issue is that a partner constantly makes it all about “me”. It’s ironic that even the Bible speaks of this.

The Bible says that men will become lovers of themselves (2 Timothy 3:2) and yet this too continues to fall on deaf ears. Arguably it’s just too hard for someone to consider different viewpoints when they love themselves too much.

All in the name of Love

To all the people who freely justify using others—in the name of love—because they think life is too short to be unhappy, never forget that while you’re busy loving yourself others are busy killing themselves due to failed love and selfish actions. Maybe it’s not your problem that they’re not strong enough to hastily move on. Maybe it’s not your duty to care for or save everyone. But keep in mind that no one remains with as many options forever.

One day when you’re done using the ones you “love”, you may wake up and realize there’s no one else to use. You may find yourself begging for someone to love you. By then you may not be as useful to anyone. Just don’t take it personally should you ever fall in love again; and that person ever finds you useless and just mercilessly “cuts your throat” or points you to a noose. Maybe then you could finally emphasize with what it truly feels like to have your heart, mind and soul removed from you by the one you thought would always love you most.

Yes, love is patient, love is kind. It’s not surprising this also came from the Bible.