If it’s one thing that never seems to dwindle is the number of bitter people who exist in society. The fascinating thing about being bitter is that it’s not always easily seen in people; they either do such a great job hiding it or don’t recognize that they are actually consumed by bitterness. But there is a way to go about dealing with bitter people.
How bitter people react to information
In an age where news and stories are capable of being spread like wildfire it’s quite easy to hear about both the successes and failures of others. However, you can use either element to tell just how bitter someone is. And this can be done simply by the way they react to the information they are exposed to.
For instance, you can read stories on any popular news website about millennials; one such story may be about millennials choosing to delay buying a house or getting married till 40s. Almost without fail, you can then predict what some of the responses are going to be like down in the comments section.
Examples include: “When I was 22 I already had my house, car, three children and two dogs and a cat.” Another response would likely be, “Kids these days don’t know what it means to work hard for anything. Give them a chance and they will play video games till they’re 60 while living in their parents’ basement.”
What do bitter people get out of it?
First thing comes to mind when reading either of the above comments is what exactly does the person posting each get out of doing so? The chance to appear arrogant or successful? The chance to assist in fueling hate towards a particular group of people without knowing each individual’s story?
Maybe it’s a chance to knock video games. Or maybe it’s the chance to try to shame or guilt people into moving out of their parents’ basement. And these comments barely touch the surface. When you properly evaluate what people are really saying under specific circumstances it’s quite easy to see that they are indeed bitter.
Bitter people are ignorant
You would think that the average person would be more logical and understanding to know that you can’t always compare what happened in the past versus the present, yet it still happens today rather frequently. Yes, owning a home may be the goal of many. But the price of an average home decades ago may have been $30000 compared to the $300000 it may be today.
Even though salaries have gone up from then to now, so too has inflation. As well as a bunch of other things that affects people’s ability to save as much. And of course things have also gone down like interest rates on investments. Many variables would have changed over decades, whether they be financial, cultural, societal, etc. So simply being quick to judge others based on what was done 50 to 100 years ago is pure ignorance.
On the bright side
To add to the above, many would be quick to point out that several people in the present day are successful at the same age they found success in the past. This is often true but what many do not consider is that not all of them may have earned their success through the healthiest of means. It’s no secret that some people lie, cheat and sleep their way to the top. If you’re comfortable with that and it makes you feel better that you made it faster than “all the lazy people in the world” then good for you.
On the other hand, there are many positive and hardworking people who are not in the most ideal positions in their lives at whatever age for any good number of reasons. The fact is, is they continue to do what they feel they need to do to make it in life. And they don’t complain about it. Additionally, their decisions and actions do not affect others personally yet many people take it as if they do.
It’s not you; it’s them
So you may have gotten a better and more productive start than someone else earlier in life; you have maintained a better career, family, more money, etc. Again, good for you! But what does that make you boasting about it? Some people may not have all of those things because they may have been sick for half of their lives. They may have also lost everything in a fire and started over. Would that make some people who judge them feel better? Probably.
But if that indeed does make people feel better it also brings up another point: misery really does love company. For it seems that many people can’t stand to see someone living life a little easier than they did. They believe that because they had to work thrice as hard to get what they want that anyone who doesn’t is not a real adult or is some sort of good for nothing whore or gold digger.
Even if any of the latter is true, it still has nothing to do with you. If anyone has that much of an issue with people who did not have to work for things as much as they do, then perhaps they should go take it up with some royal princes and princesses. Most of these today inherited everything.
Don’t let them belittle you
Timing and circumstances are much bigger factors than many people would admit; both of these determine how quickly someone can rise to success. If more people really sit and think through things they would even realize that a lot of past or present individuals who found tremendous success only did so because the timing and circumstances were right. If those two elements don’t align, most times the outcome will be far different.
This means that it’s not fair to compare the average person to the greatest success stories of the past. Because we are in the present and their ambition may be the same but the variables might be different. Quintessentially, someone’s accomplishments should not always be measured by the success of someone else.
There’s hope for bitterness
To all the willfully bitter people in the world and those who recognize that they are indeed bitter but desire to change, always remember two things: 1. You are not really better or more special than anyone else and 2. It’s okay for a positive and ambitious person to work much less than you (or not hard at all) and find more success than you did at any point.
Even if you don’t find it’s fair, so too is not being able to always easily obtain the best opportunities in life because you are a white or black man, because you are a woman or because you are a Muslim or Seventh Day Adventist. Life’s not always fair; learn to deal with it!
