Let’s all celebrate “Fake Independence”

These days it often seems like people are quite eager to celebrate anything: “Hey, I ate all my lunch today.” Yayyyyyy. “My daughter got a boyfriend.” Praise the lord! and “Daddy, I got bitten by a mosquito.” Excellent! But there’s one thing it forever seems that the population just can’t stop celebrating … and that’s *cough* fake *cough cough* fake independence! Yes! Let’s all celebrate fake independence!

What’s with the Fake Independence?

So now you may probably be wondering what exactly is meant by fake independence. It usually sounds something like this: “I don’t care how independent I am, I need a man to lead, protect and provide for me”; “I’m my own person so I don’t need help for anything”; and my personal favorite: “I have a job and pay my own bills. I’m independent”. A quick search for the meaning of being independent would likely produce either of the following results: “to be free from outside control; not subject to another’s authority or “to not depend on another for livelihood or subsistence.” And yet, many would still read the above and believe they are truly independent.

But the concept of “fake independence” can be taken even further. What about those who belong to the LBGTQIA community? Particularly those who have obtained equal rights within jurisdictions and still have to continue to try to convince others that they’re free. What about those who have jobs and believe they’re no longer enslaved? Why? Because they can afford to put on the same suit each day and pay 23 bills per month. And of course, who can forget those who live in so much comfort that they get to pay thousands of dollars per month? Thousands of dollars that they MUST PAY to someone to maintain their oh so prestigious standard of living. Yep, all independent … NOT!

The quest to be Independent

Being seen as independent can be ticklish. This is because so many people want to believe that they’re doing it all on their own. People are subconsciously pressured by society to be successful and to be an adult; success and adulthood are two things consistently associated with independence. As such, they rush to claim this so-called independence without realizing that it is something that may be very similar to a wild goose chase. Independence is an element that may never fully be obtained by anyone. This is not what many people wish to hear but it is most likely the only truth.

True Independence

Though difficult, being free from outside control and not being subject to another’s authority is paradoxically the easy part. It is the part where not depending on another for livelihood or subsistence that easier blurs the line between true independence; yet again, this is paradoxically more difficult.

It’s easy to think that people would see the obvious issue with claiming independence while still needing something or someone else to thrive. Examples include another person, an employer, their dog, money, usage of their time and energy … and so on. But the moment you have to rely on any of the above to sustain your “independence” you’re not really in complete control of the situation. This means you cannot claim that you’re completely free. The clearest way to recognize this is to imagine that you are the richest person on the planet with all the power in the world; the day the rain permanently ceased from falling and the sun went out is the day you would quickly come to terms with one reality. Only a God can truly be independent.

Accepting Reality

Some people freely acknolwedge the above and understand that they may always need someone or something for their healthy survival. But many just want to have their cake and eat it too. They want the title of independence without the consequences, responsibilities and vulnerabilities that come with it. Essentially deep down they may wish to feel like Gods as a way to cope with their own insecurities about life. But in reality it would just never happen.

And so, many will continue to treat with fake independence the way people treat with fake relationships. They will continue to parade around and flaunt all they’ve accomplished as an individual. They will announce how in love they are with freedom. And they will pay their own bills; buy their own underwear; choose who they have sex with; claim they have the right to be straight or gay; follow whichever religion they want; live on their own and feel satisfied they have a good job. Why? Because the sun still shines and the rain still falls. And somewhere in the back of everyone’s mind is someone who just truly wants to feel free.