Marriage is that special unity that most persons likely give a serious thought about at some point. From a very young age, through the media, schools, churches, friends, family, etc., marriage is promoted as one of the best things that can happen between two adults. But does marriage make or break?
The overall definition of marriage is clear-cut; a couple publicly pledges their eternal love or commitment to each other (till death do they part). Then they become one under the context of the law or God’s divine will. Sounds simple enough, right? Yet the global divorce rate is still very high as it has been for decades. So what gives? Why does maintaining a marriage appear so complicated?
Marriage: make it or break it
There is endless advice floating around relative to what makes a marriage work or not work. These range from knowing how to treat a woman, how to keep a man happy and not being surprised if your spouse cheats on you for taking them for granted. This right here is possibly the biggest reason why the divorce rate remains so high.
Quite frankly, it seems that most people get married primarily to get something out of the arrangement rather than give. The consensus seems to be: If I’m not happy then I have a right to do as I please, which includes to eventually leave. Yes you have a right to be happy; but you do not have a right to just easily leave as you please. You’re married, so you don’t get to make critical decisions as though you’re single anymore. And this is the part that many don’t really want to hear.
Marriage requires commitment
Oftentimes, people just want the gain but they don’t care for the pain. This is why there are so many people who cannot stick to a diet even though they want to lose weight. And some would like to have 10 million dollars but can’t stand working 10 years for it.
When a lot of people hear marriage they immediately think of walking down the aisle with all their loved ones smiling and admiring the happy-go-lucky life they are about to live. They hardly ever envision the days when their would be wife or husband may feel sick of them and may deeply contemplate the ordeal. When marriage vows are taken, there’s nothing in them that say life will forever be a bed of roses. Yet, may mistakenly believe so.
Expecting too much from Marriage
By expecting someone to complete you through marriage or to give you more out of life, you are essentially admitting that you are not whole as an individual. So many people spend countless years waiting for Mr. or Ms. right to show up; they just expect someone would add meaning to what they may see as an otherwise meaningless life. But not many ask themselves why that is.
It’s similar to someone completing a degree, unable to get work and yet refusing to do anything with it besides trying to get a job. In their minds the only way they can be happy is after they get that job. But what if that job never comes? Are you just going to sit there and mope in misery that you will never be happy? It’s just difficult for many people to fathom alternate possibilities when for so long they’ve become used to expecting that things should be one way.
Marriage can be good … if you don’t break
Yes, marriage can be a good thing. But the sad truth is that it probably will never be great for at least 50% of the world’s population; in the long run many will fail due to misconstrued perceptions. By default, happily ever upon being married does not exist. And the reality is that it will never come into existence, no matter how much you love your partner; nor does it matter how many children you have or how much money the two of you make.
None of these things will perpetually sustain a healthily marriage if you consistently refuse to love yourself and make your life happen with or without a spouse. In the end, we are each responsible for our own happiness. It’s the harder choice but the one more worth it. A marriage, regardless if it fails or succeeds, can only break you if you lose a true sense of who you really are.
