Day after day we are bombarded with one thing after the next. Some of these things make us feel better about ourselves while others only make us feel worse. However, the one thing that can’t be disputed is that everyday we are constantly encouraged to work for more or to desire more out of life. So how exactly do you quench your thirst for more?
If you have a job, you may feel that you must climb the corporate ladder or eventually get a better job. If you buy the latest phone or vehicle, within a couple days (or often even before a future model is produced) marketers are already actively trying to brainwash you into being unsatisfied with what you already have by advertising what’s to come. This dilemma can extend to endless things in life. This would include computers, money, clothes, houses … and the list goes on.
Ultimate dissatisfaction
It’s bad enough that most people seem to no longer be satisfied with anything happening in their lives past a certain point. But a lot of people have no clue that this can get worse. With this seemingly cyclical concept of “out with the old and in with the new”, if this is what frequently drives you in life then what does that say about you?
Many would have no problem with the aforesaid philosophy; they see consistent change as progression and think that progression does not come without sacrifice. As such, they are constantly swapping what they believe no longer serves them in favor of obtaining something better.
Without taking the potential consequences of the latter action into consideration it would appear that common sense implies that trading for better is just always the more logical thing to do. But “common sense” is based on things like perception, interpretation and feelings. This simply means that incorporating common sense does not always guarantee you are making the best decision.
More friends? More relationships?
Now consider all of the above and how it may apply to friendships and relationships? Would you just trade your best friend or lover for another person? For some people the answer is a shameless yes. And would you kill a child or rape 1000 women for 1 billion dollars? Once again, it’s likely some people would say yes. Now do you see the problem?
Two factors come to mind: The first is that most people can be bought for a price. The second is that the price would be based on what they deem valuable. And this would be in correlation with their morals and ethics, providing they have any. Either way, what’s clear is that people may set boundaries for their desires to have more and possibly to ward off greed. But because it’s based on each person’s perception of value these boundaries can be unreliable. Such boundaries can be like moving targets, and something that is stable simply stays put.
The Desire for more
The desire to have more stems from a variety of reasons but understanding these reasons are critical. Surely many would be of the belief there’s nothing wrong with wanting more. This may be true but what they don’t ask is, at what cost? The shortsighted answers you may get from some people trying to justify having more would be like, “It’s a new year. Time for a change” or “He does everything right but does not make me feel as happy as before”. Statements like these are blatantly selfish.
While self care is important it’s often said (as cliched as it may sound) that happiness is not a destination; happiness comes from within. And this easily showcases the truth that the real reason people continue to desire more is because they are really not as happy as they may think they are.
Having more does not necessarily make you happy and even when it does, most times it’s only going to be temporary. This is why it’s important that you take the time to properly understand what is making you happy and why that is. Don’t just look at things on the surface and say things like “My boyfriend makes me happy” or “I’d really like to have my dream car”.
Dig even deeper
Go deeper. Get to the root causes of your happiness and question your thoughts and feelings. Example: List out all the specific things required to make you happy and try to pinpoint the exact reason(s) for your happiness. If any of these reasons upon being deduced lead you to answers revolving around feelings, then try going even deeper and get to the facts.
Ask yourself: Would I be any less happier if my boyfriend didn’t frequently do X; if so, why? And after I get my dream car, then what? Would my life be transformed for better? By forcing yourself to ask these tougher questions it becomes far easier to deduce your consistent desire for more. Because your reasons could very well be selfish or conceited and may be more trouble than they are truly worth.
Don’t be a slave to more
Even in cases where you constantly desire more and when they would be to your actual benefit or progression, it’s still worth limiting them. Examples of these would be having the choice to make more money or spend more time with your family; the chance to get married or to have a once in a lifetime sexcapade with attractive people on an island. Limiting your desires or your choices to not fulfill them keeps you grounded.
You remain grounded when you set proper boundaries and maintain standards; do this and you will always know when enough is enough. For in this life, we will constantly be faced with choices and our innate desire to want more out of life. But after a while, experience will tell you that yes more is good; but the less you consistently need to feel satisfied will always be much better. It’s only at that point you would finally find it easier to quench your thirst. By then you would be well aware of the effects of forever being a slave to “more desires” and fully grasp why less can indeed be more.
