Steve Harvey is not always right

I am a fan of Steve Harvey and what he has contributed to the world; with that said, nothing in this article is meant to defame him or discredit his worth. On one occasion a video from Steve Harvey titled, “Straight Talk: Does Your Partner’s Job Matter?” caught my attention. It essentially spoke about the way men and women become attracted to each other; the catch was that the attraction was relative to their professions. Some men and women were on the set and freely exchanged their viewpoints based on how they see attraction. By the end of it all I left with my own viewpoint that Steve Harvey is not always right.

Right or Wrong?

In the video, women expressed more or less the same things that any experienced man may first consider. The women claimed to be attracted to men who have ambition, look professional and know how to wear a suit. They were also attracted to men who are financially stable and appear to be going places. Of course, the audience clapped in response to things like these, especially as it seemed to filled with women.

The men, nonetheless, expressed that they understand and support the women’s preferences. But they also expressed that they appreciate women who support them when they have nothing. One man even said that he thinks the things women desire are important. Then he said he also believes there is a danger in associating profession with attraction and compatibility. One of the women then responded to the man’s concerns, questioning him as to what the danger really is. The man then went on to explain and his response, though logical, caused other women on set to respond defensively. Fair enough.

The turning point

The turning point in the video came when one man mentioned he’s been married 31 years to the same woman; he then tried to explain why he felt marriage worked for him. He said he was broke from day one and his wife stuck with him regardless through thick and thin. And once again his response was followed by a round of applause from the audience. Then came a response from the same woman who had questioned him about danger.

Now don’t get me wrong, the woman made some pretty great arguments. But after both sides stated their points I was left with the feeling that a lot was said by both parties and still nothing much was said at all. Here’s why: The woman’s key argument was that the man’s marriage likely worked that long because it was 31 years ago. She claimed they were both at a place where it was acceptable for him to have nothing.

Based on sensible deduction, one could reckon that their relationship succeeded then because they were young. By assumption, this meant they had little or no responsibilities, were naive and so on. The woman then went on to say that being broke in the past was acceptable. Today grown women want a man who has it all together and is their equal in many areas. Again, fair enough.

An aimless debate

It felt like the debate was going nowhere to me. This wasn’t because I thought either the men or the women were wrong; it was because they were both right in their own ways. But there was a strong feeling that particular words were being withheld by both parties. It was though they were trying to maintain some sort of fake peace.

Quite frankly, I respect the women’s viewpoint in many ways because they were straight and frank about what attracts them; they stressed on the fact they are attracted to men who are ambitious providers and make them feel safe. These are the sort of things that Steve Harvey seems to love to hear or say, having watched his videos.

Steve Harvey’s opinions

In my opinion, Steve began dropping the ball from the moment he injected his personal viewpoints into the debate. He started completing sentences for the women that they never initiated. He said things like, “A woman doesn’t want to attach herself to a man who doesn’t have a plan, who doesn’t have anything working, because you’re too old and not in the raising a boy business.”

Then he went on to say, “When you get to a certain age it’s time out for that.” And to top it off he then said that 49% of men are less caring about the latter, including himself. Because if he meets the woman of his dreams he doesn’t care what she does for a living. Not long after, the woman who had been doing most of the speaking reinstated her view. She said that the attraction for women is for men to take care of them and to provide; she then claimed that it can be compared to the same physical attraction that men have to women.

To sum things up, Steve Harvey concluded that it’s more important for men to have a woman in their lives that has the qualities of being a great and supportive person, but a woman wants to feel safe. And then finally came the not so unexpected “shocker” from Steve Harvey.

Where Steve Harvey went wrong

Steve ended the segment by saying, “Dudes kill me thinking you can do this (assuming he meant LIFE) without a woman. You can’t. You can be a successful man but you will never be a great man.” The audience then proceeded to clap the loudest yet while all the men on set nod their head in agreement. The women then all got to wear smirks on their faces and make perky gestures. It was though they were all saying, “the world better recognize their worth”. So what exactly did Steve Harvey did wrong in my opinion?

People need to be careful, especially when in a position of fame and power, making generalizations about men and women. Steve Harvey literally stated that a man cannot become great without the help of a woman. This statement alone is very ambiguous and yet sounds so poetic that to many it would just accept it. To many, it would just make sense or sound as though it couldn’t be anything but true.

I am not a fan of telling others what they want to hear at the expense of what they need to. They segment was primarily about the equal views of men and women as it relates to relationships. Then why were women put on a pedestal as though men can’t truly be great without them? I get it, women are extremely important to everything in this world; much of Steve Harvey’s primary audience are women who needs to be satisfied. i.e. in order for a particular level of interest to be maintained for his shows.

Women are great, but men are too

For the record, I too believe that women are great and the world would not be a great place without them. But I do not believe that a man cannot be great without the assistance of a woman. Steve Harvey has consistently been frank about his past and his many marriages; he has also claimed that his ill experiences have given him the know-how about women and relationships. While I do not dispute this, not everyone needs to burn to learn in order to learn about life.

Saying that men can’t ever become great without a woman is the same as saying all women are good or all men are bad. It’s also similar to saying that someone cannot become successful or great without completing a college degree. There are exceptions to every rule.

Some of the greatest men AND women to exist were never big on relationships. Prime examples are: Leonardo da Vinci, Oprah Winfrey, President James Buchanan, George Eastman and Queen Elizabeth. But then again, this is just my perspective. The words successful and great are used so freely that you can’t help but wonder about their definite meanings.

Does true love really exist?

The word successful typically means to accomplish a desired aim or result; great means to have an ability, quality, or eminence that is considerably above average. Compare these two meanings with what Steve Harvey said in his video and more questions would ensue. Who defines what is an accomplishment as well as what is above average?

A statement that implies that men are inferior without women is just not something I can support. All words like these do is perpetuate the beliefs of some members of society. Because many still believe that some genders, creeds and races are more superior than they really are. The only substantial thing I concluded after watching the video is that relationships are based only on timing and relativity. Because of this, “true love” in the context of a romantic or sexual relationship on most days is likely just an illusion.

Do the right thing

It’s true that healthy relationships can truly strengthen either man or woman. But people need to stop subliminally projecting their own knowledge and experiences as the be all end all to life’s problems. What works for some won’t necessarily work for others. To some extent everyone needs to learn how to leave and let live.

I may not be as successful as Steve Harvey. But I trust that many see him as being great and that he would respect my viewpoint. Even if he does not agree with me, I will still support Steve’s endless positive initiatives. But I will also keep in mind that his words, mine or anyone else’s may not always be most right. More important is our quest to continue to strive to live better lives and to encourage others to do the same.

Below is a link to the video, should anyone wish to watch: