Life is truly exciting and fun when you’re winning. When you get that job you want, that house you dreamed of or that car that makes everyone envy you, for a moment you may feel like you’re on top of the world. But there’s a point in life that most people must cross before they begin to win … they must lose.
People tend to fear losing because nothing hardly ever feels good about it. You usually either feel disappointment, misery, sadness, anger, confusion, and so on, and sometimes you would simply feel all of the above. And still, it can get even worse because losing can also cause you to become apathetic. At this juncture, you will feel nothing at all and it would be as though you’re dead aside.
It’s almost safe to say that almost everyone is quite familiar with why the fear of losing is bad; fear holds us back in more ways than one. Yet, it seems that the general consensus about fear is that few people seem to care to do much about it. Or maybe they’re not really sure what to do at all. However, a few real life examples as to how fear can tremendously hold you back may paint a clearer picture for some people.
The fear of losing money
I once met someone who said she didn’t care about obtaining interest rates on the money she accumulated through years of hard work. She said she just wants to know that the money she worked for is safe and that she does’t need to become rich. While it’s true that not everyone cares to become rich, it’s almost certain that practically everyone desires to have freedom at some point.
Let’s say that the aforesaid person started working at 18 years old and was able to save $1000 per month for 40 years; by then she would have saved a total of $480,000. By her standards, without interest rates, she worked hard and did pretty well. But had she took that $1000 a month and simply placed it in an account that generated 4% interest per year the total amount she would have saved at the age of 58 would approximately be $1,169,665.80. Yet, her fear of losing through investing made her think that her strategy was best. She probably would feel different closer to retirement.
The fear of losing relationships
Relationships, as they say, is hard work. Most people would probably have multiple relationships in a lifetime. And while a relationship may not be for everyone, some people simply feel like empty shells without them. It’s actually pretty understandable because even those who do not wish to be in romantic or sexual relationships usually crave to have relationships with their family or friends.
Nonetheless, because relationships are hard they often do not work, leaving a lot of people heartbroken. Some people never fully recover from a failed relationship and may go on to ludicrously swear off all men or women on the planet for the remainder of their existence. The fear of losing someone else’s affection therefore keeps them in a despondent state; they barely meet anyone new and over time can likely become a recluse.
The fear of losing time
The fear of losing time is probably the biggest fear that a lot of people do not know they have. Women may actually be more guilty of this one, especially if they are constantly worrying about their biological clocks. Time is arguably the biggest asset that anyone in the world may have. More likely than not it would take time to make money and time to build healthy relationships.
People fear losing time because once it’s gone, it’s gone. There’s no way to be 21 again once you’re 30. And there’s definitely no way to be as energetic as a teenager when you’re 80, which means that a lot of your hopes and dreams need to be accomplished by particular times. The problem, however, is due to the fear of losing time a lot of people make big mistakes. They may rush through life, take the wrong jobs, marry the wrong person and pursue the wrong careers all because they fear losing time. And the absolute worst case scenario is that they may take no action at all because they fear they would waste time and not be compensated for their efforts. Then they often remain with all the time in the world to regret their decisions.
Take control of your life
Time, relationships and money are quite possibly the biggest commodities to any human being on the planet; yet, a lot of people do not use them to their advantage simply because they fear to lose. But here’s some food for thought: “The fear of losing can cause even the smartest person to end up with no gains.”
You can work hard for all you want and not be as successful as someone who is less brilliant and less diligent but also less afraid to lose. What separates the two is that one is willing to take greater risk and understands that losing does not have to be the end; you can easily make losing the beginning of something greater with the right mindset.
As for making mistakes in life it’s all part of the losing (and winning!) process. Mistakes are not what you need to fear. Wasting your life consistently focusing on doing or not doing the wrong things is the only thing you need to be afraid of. But as former US president, Mr. Barack Obama, once said: “The best way to not feel hopeless is to get up and do something. Don’t wait for good things to happen to you. If you go out and make some good things happen, you will fill the world with hope; you will fill yourself with hope.” So just stop being afraid to lose and go win what’s yours!
