This article is not going to be another one about bashing men who refuse to grow up. On the contrary, it’s one about the typical man who has long grown up, yet the powers that be insist that he remains a boy almost for eternity. This can be referred to as The Man-boy Paradox.
The first thing that needs to be done in unraveling the Man-boy paradox is distinguishing one difference. What’s the difference between a man and a boy? And since most people prefer official proof, then the Oxford dictionary should be proof enough. According to Oxford, “a boy is a young, male child” while “a man is a grown-up male.” Full stop! But these definitions are not always easily accepted.
The Man-boy Paradox
A male is 31 years old, five feet tall and lives with his parents; he also works at a fast food restaurant and weighs 115 1bs, skinny. A 19 year old is six feet, five inches tall; he plays professional football and weighs 235 lbs, a heavyweight. Furthermore he owns three mansions. Which one is the real man?
He’s young, tall, makes a lot of money, and has more muscles than Arnold Schwarzenegger? Wow! Move over little 31 year-old boy! Allow me to introduce myself to Mr. “Real Man” over there. He’s very successful and knows what life is about! Oh, the naivety of the human mind.
Refer once again to both the definitions of a man and boy. Realize that only one includes the word “young” in its description? By official standards that is how you tell the difference between a man and a boy. Not by how tall he is or how much money he makes. Neither is it determine based whether or not he can accomplish random things, like play a musical instrument, fix electrical circuits or mend broken lamps. Yet, some people would probably be shaking their heads at this point. They’d probably be asking themselves whether I might be the one with the naive mind.
Different definitions of Boy and Man
The definitions of the words man and boy have been unofficially altered over the years to suit respective cultures. Hence the reason, in one country a male would be viewed as a man depending on how much money he makes and the way he looks and carries about himself as an individual; in another country hunting lions and zebras with a spear as you dash through a forest wearing nothing but a ragged jockey shorts would trump the definition of manliness.
Now at this point if someone were to ask for an opinion on which of the two above is closer to being a real man, most people nowadays would still flock towards the guy who makes more money and knows how to dress to impress. Why? Because growing up, it’s most likely the only definition of a man they’ve been exposed to; now they believe that what they feel in their hearts is always right.
And as a consequence of this belief and the growing beliefs of too many other like-minded individuals, the word “man,” (for whatever it might or might not really mean) is now respected; it’s respected till it makes some older males feel that being called anything less than a man is irrelevant.
The quest to be called a Man
Most men of age have and will always feel threatened or embarrassed when called a “boy”; they then feel they need to prove that they deserve to be called a man. And quite often this is done by committing showy acts fit for the minds of a true boy.
What’s even more interesting is that a male five years old usually has no problem being called a little boy. Who would have thought that the little B word might turn out to be such a cursed one for adults? Quite unfortunate.
The only true Man
It all boils down to this. Most of the world has been conditioned to accept that being a man is a great thing; and that being a boy is just the transitional phase towards becoming a man. And that the faster one escapes the latter transition and becomes a man, the faster he will be rewarded and be respected within society.
So in essence, the fact that a male’s entire life basically revolves around becoming a man as quickly as possible from his point of birth, the typical male is encouraged to either shorten or abandon his childhood. This is in favor of eventually becoming a successful and serious-minded adult; one who knows how to portray confidence and make the most amount of money throughout his lifetime. And this often requires a man to exchange other good qualities like compassion, a strong, genuine mind and respect for others who may not yet be as well off as himself.
All just an ego boost
When you really think about it, technically there is no tangible benefit in being called a man over a boy; the exception that it boosts the ego of some males and gives them a greater sense of success and belonging within society. But it’s plausible that being called a boy in this day and age might actually be better than being called a man. This is especially so when one understands what the true definition of a man is and does not need the extra validation to feel appreciated.
For when the majority of males rush through life with the mission of being called a man from the earliest possible age, such is a superficial definition of a man; the title is appointed by a second or third party. Thus, there is a much higher likelihood that this is the “man” who will deceive most people via his bright first-impressions and his daily textbook approach to life. Then several years later he may quite likely turn out to still be a boy inside due to long repressed insecurities and desires.
Be the Man-boy you are meant to be
It is the rare boy who takes the time to develop as an individual. This boy wants to understand the deepest passages of life and to learn compassion, commitment and dedication. His primary purpose would be uplifting himself and others within society. And he will do this, all while having the strength to ignore the naysayers as he is constantly overlooked as being a “man” that will prosper the most. This is the true test of character and maturity.
Having taught himself the strength and advantages one can obtain upon consistently being underestimated, a real man will never feel the need to compulsively wear his worth on his sleeves. He will always take pride in knowing he was born a boy and will always remain one at heart. No matter how old he gets! Ultimately, he will not care about being called a boy for as long as he walks this earth; he will only prove his valor and mental resilience. And he will make himself much more of a Man than today’s generic, little “man” could dream to be.
