Being gay today is no longer as big a deal as it once was. Of course not everyone will feel the same. And it is still not something that all of humanity will easily come to terms with at any point. But arguably it was never about what others felt in the first place. It always has and will always be about what a gay person feels and does more than what others think.
To be or not to be Gay?
Many people are not comfortable touching this subject for a variety of reasons. Some may be afraid to question their own beliefs and insecurities; others may become too irate about the topic or they rather just avoid it altogether. The downside of either stance is that none addresses the thoughts that may possibly go through the mind of a person who is gay or is thinking about being gay.
The only thing a gay person in question may remember growing up is hearing or seeing that a man is supposed to be with a woman. Anything else was seen as an abomination. They may keep thinking that one day they will find someone of the opposite sex, except that day never comes.
Instead, what happens is that one day they gradually start noticing another person of the same sex. Then they gradually form a strong attachment to that individual. Is this love? They may feel ashamed of the personal feelings they may develop; they may have doubts if it’s right to feel this way about someone of the same sex. And eventually with these feelings they may ask themselves, “To be or not to be gay?”
Is it really okay to be Gay?
What’s mentioned above isn’t rocket science; it’s simply common sense. It’s also the same sort of common sense that scores of people seem to be lacking; this becomes more evident whenever they single out those who are gay and try to shame them for their actions.
One of the most powerful defenses that is often used against people who are attracted to the same sex is that it’s spoken against in the Bible. Fair enough. However, what isn’t fair is choosing to place emphasis on someone being gay or not being gay while downplaying other questionable happenings within societies that people may more frequently participate in. Many of these questionable happenings are also blatantly condemned in the Bible; key examples are fornication, adultery, greed and pride.
When the latter are put against the question of whether or not it’s okay to be gay, it can seem like a drop in a bucket of monumental sins. But even if this is indeed the case, one cannot help but ask what exactly does this mean? Really, is it okay to be gay?
It’s all about perception
People do drugs, choose to study, to go to work, to get married, to have unprotected sex. And they also chose to befriend or not befriend whoever they prefer. Not all choices made are the best but the choice in the end is always theirs. Trying to tell people how to live their lives is often counterproductive; it can come across as though you are forcing your way of life onto them. It just goes against humans’ natural need to execute free will.
Sometimes people just need to make the choices in their own lives that they believe are in their best interest. You don’t have to accept their choices. But as long as they don’t negatively affect you or someone else you may need to respect them. And yes, “negatively affect” can also be based on perception.
Respecting the rights of others
It all comes down to this. If you have a problem with a particular act or belief, especially if it’s under the umbrella of a collection of strong principles that you hold dear to heart, then you need to equally have a problem with all related issues and not just one. And still, this does not give you the right to take the law into your own hands; you don’t have the right to harass people who do not go out of their way to upset your life.
Remember, you don’t have to accept what others believe; but just like religion, it may be in your best interest to respect it. There are ways to fight for the things you strongly believe in without actively fighting someone else.
Focus on more important things
Many will have a hard time letting go of the fact that some people may choose to be gay. However, negative reactions to their choices would only make things worse. Even if it ever becomes 1000% unquestionably clear that the choice of every gay person on the planet is wrong, retaliating against this choice would only prove that two wrongs do not make a right.
Fire never outs fire and if you happen to win the battle you are likely to still lose the war. There are more important things to focus on than those who are gay. Compassion, humility and understanding are just a few examples. Focus on the choices you can control that actually solve problems rather than amplify them.
The choice is yours
As for those who may be struggling with the question if they should or should not be gay or just wonder if they were born this way, consider that you may simply feel the need to do whatever it is you feel is right. But like any other choice you may make in life, there is always a chance it could be wrong.
Nevertheless, this should not stop you from making a particular choice you feel may be best for you. But also do understand that the choice you make today does not have to be the choice you continue making for the rest of your life. For the wrong choice could temporarily make you happy but the right one will forever keep you fulfilled.
